EASTER BASKET CLARIFICATION

Allow me to clarify the previous post about an all-vinegar easter basket I received earlier this year. It contained bottled WHITE and APPLE CIDER vinegar in multiple sizes. Two 1 Gallon Jugs of each flavor, three 1 Liter Bottles of White, a 28oz Tall Boy of Wyoming Red APPLE CIDER vinegar and one 6 pack of lunch-sized Vinegar Shots. Ignoring the physician's warning label I consumed all of the above in one sitting. I have since gone legally blind and lost the use of my left hand during the morning hours. For this privilege I paid a German firm 300 euros to prepare the basket and send a lackey dressed as a German Easter Bunny into my room during the pre-dawn hours to deliver it while I slept. I paid extra to receive a kiss on the forehead prior to the delivery boy's exit, just as one would...

Survival Kit

After the recent severe weather, I’m starting to appreciate this Easter basket full of vinegar.

Morning Constitutional 06/06/11

It is not a quiet time. The annual dairy bar riots are getting louder. The parking lot dirt pilings growing higher. What really has me concerned, though, is the alarming number of high profile assassinations at graduation ceremonies this year.Until recently, they targeted vocal members of the school board or seemingly unrelated grounds workers. But as of last weekend, 13 graduates have fallen. 13 Salutatorians, 13 Impromptu memorials. The most awkward aspect is the necessity to complete the ceremony. The parents have assembled, the choir has been watered, there's no turning back. Usually the school superintendent makes some brief remarks about unpredictable twists on the road of life and holds another moment of silence. Then members of the track team get their diplomas early and are...

FORECLOSING ON BANK OF AMERICA

Florida couple Maureen and Warren Nyerges took their revenge on Bank of America after the bank mistakenly tried to foreclose on their home: They showed up at the bank with moving trucks and deputies, ready to seize the bank's property, WinkNews reported. The Nyerges paid for their house in cash and never had a mortgage, but Bank of America, which owned the house, made a mistake and began foreclosing on their home. The Nyerges fought in court for a year and a half before the foreclosure suit was dropped. Five months after the suit, Bank of America still has not coughed up the $2,534 in legal fees the judge ordered the bank to reimbuse the Nyerges for. The Nyerges' attorney, Todd Allen, showed up at the bank, along with moving trucks and deputies, demanding that they be allowed to seize...

The Curse of the Ojibwe

Many thousands of years ago Sir George Washington himself, our first and noblest grand chief, personally slaughtered all of the Ojibwe Indians.