Morning Constitutional 06/06/11

It is not a quiet time. The annual dairy bar riots are getting louder. The parking lot dirt pilings growing higher. What really has me concerned, though, is the alarming number of high profile assassinations at graduation ceremonies this year.

Until recently, they targeted vocal members of the school board or seemingly unrelated grounds workers. But as of last weekend, 13 graduates have fallen. 13 Salutatorians, 13 Impromptu memorials. The most awkward aspect is the necessity to complete the ceremony. The parents have assembled, the choir has been watered, there’s no turning back. Usually the school superintendent makes some brief remarks about unpredictable twists on the road of life and holds another moment of silence. Then members of the track team get their diplomas early and are dismissed to go beat Central.

Official policy blames the drug war but everyone knows the assassinations are the work of Maoist rebels. It’s feared that acknowledging their involvement gives them legitimacy. They already control all the 7-11s in the North end. I don’t have any beef with them. They make great Deer Jerky.

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About Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn't. He can't stand that shit.

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