"Not guilty, your honor." So said V, Jon VanTorre, our once and future king. How V found himself on the wrong side of an arcane, ancient law designed to trap escaped circus bears posing as humans was not important. What was important was the 80+ year sentence V was facing if things went south. "I can break stones, but I cannot break Father Time," V was overheard saying to a reporter. It was a frame up from the start. V knew it. The judge knew it. All of the townsfolk knew it too. Through his extensive charity work over the years V had made himself many powerful enemies at all levels of society. Each angry that his good works had revealed their interests to be the empty cardboard cereal boxes they were. "Gentlemen of the jury, you have here an uncontrollable force capable of tearing off...
AND TODAY, the Devil's doing Macremé. Why? Well he's always wanted to know just what it's all about. You always hear about it, but I don't know, Wheel's usually on or something. Just never had the time. It sounded great. I'm just so tired after work. (wait. Who's talking here? Me or the Devil? Who's moving these hands? Did you feel that? That cold breeze? Is that you Uncle Walt?) Well the Devil learned that Macramé (or macrame) is: a form of textile-making using knotting rather than weaving or knitting. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AN ENTIRE HOBBY-CRAFT FOCUSED ON INCESSANT, COMPULSIVE KNOT-TYING!? Well the Devil died that day and went himself to heaven. And so did I! And ever since, we've been putting quarter after quarter into...
Well going around to each and every one of my neighbor's houses and lighting their mail on fire has finally come back to haunt me. As the only person on my block in possession of up to date discount restaurant coupons, as delivered by our proud and honorable postal carriers, I have control over the weekend eating fortunes of approximately 150 people. It's only a matter of time before they all - everyone of them - show up at my door demanding their share of "Free Entree of Equal or Lesser Value" vouchers. How am I to decide who gets the free breadsticks coupon to the Fish Barrel? Who am I to decide who gets the free breadsticks coupon to Fish Barrel? How can I possibly determine which family is deserving of 15% off their total bill at Randy's BBQ Pig Parts Pit and which family should get...
Phil Neuenfeld, president of Wisconsin AFL-CIO on the Debt Deal: This deeply flawed legislation amounts to capitulation to a reckless group of ideologues willing to sacrifice America's credibility to advance their extreme political agenda. The resulting cuts will inflict needless pain on already overburdened working families, while rewarding the super-rich with irresponsible and unpatriotic tax breaks. This bad deal will derail economic recovery, further undermining the middle class. History shows we cannot cut our way to prosperity. Contrary to Republican rhetoric, we are facing an employment crisis, not a debt crisis. The United States' government needs to put people first by investing in local communities and jobs. Slashing programmes that are helping working families stay afloat...
Why on earth was I supposed to care about Rep. Gabby Giffords returning to vote yes on the toxic debt deal in the US House of Representatives? That was obviously thrown out there as a feel good distraction from the atrocity being committed through legislation. As though I was stupid enough to just forget all about cuts to medicare and domestic spending and authority being handed to a super-congressional committee because a woman who was shot in the head in January, survived long enough to cast a vote for something that will seriously fuck up my own life. I'm supposed to feel great about full-blown fascism taking hold due to a collection of utterly worthless peon, racist citizens with a tea obsession who voted en-masse last November to further impoverish themselves and me because it had...
My windmill brings me much peace. It spins and spins and I watch it so. There are days when it is fast and days when it is slow. There are days yet where its blades are helped along by a team of little gremlins wearing matching jerseys. You have to squint to see them but they're there. Squinting's about all I do since the state broke both my hands. They don't want me making any more drawings of their high-power officials. They know I draw with the right hand but they broke the left as well as they figured I was keen on learning to write with both should the need arise. So now I just sit and watch the windmill. Spin and spin. And I figure if I watch long enough I will transported back through time to when I first learned what a windmill was and learned its ways. I learned that I had a...