DEPT: Blog
THIS IS THE BLOG OF THE HUMAN DOG.
THIS IS IMPORTANT EVIDENCE OF THE END OF THE WORLD.
ALSO THE OCCASIONAL RECIPE.
THANK YOU.
Questions about the viability of Felt Puppetry have been raised in recent days. Are the costs too much for society? Does it have a place in our Microwave Oven, Remote Television Clicker Box world? How is it contributing to the unrest in Myanmar? Although Felt Puppetry’s questioners are sincere, their concerns are unfounded. This swirl of hysteria is fueled in large part by shadowy players in the Sand Animation and Electronic Goat industries. Their interests run counter to the public’s embrace of Felt Puppetry for information presentation and reliable companionship. Further concerns are connected to the public’s longstanding unease with Felt Puppetry’s miniature clothing, falling as it does somewhere between child and midget. In reality Felt Puppetry has proven an...
Top Hats, although we here on Earth are done with them, continue to travel ever-deeper through outer space. Gathering speed by the second, the hats never lose their stature. They remain as grand today as they were 80 years ago. Although to us these Top Hats are a head gear of a time long past, it is we, living in 21st Century America, who are ancient to them. As Einstein demonstrated, when Top Hats race away from the earth they actually travel further and further into the future. Had they the desire to return to this planet, these Top Hats would find a scarred, barren wasteland of Topiary sculpture and mangled wire shopping carts and no brow they could call human upon which to rest. Even now Scientists predict some of the first Top Hats are reaching the outer edges of the galaxy, making...
You better move that trampoline. We need to mow that area. It’s getting to be a real snake pit under there. Real dangerous. This whole yard is a wreck. I don’t care about the metal stakes or the netting frame, just move it. You got babies, you can’t have a snake pit like that.
Get this dog away from me!
Too much work to deal with sincerely here at Human Dog. Posts will resume this weekend.
Enjoy a Photo of this Soup Factory.
What am I going to do with this pet rabbit? Every day it looks like a different historical character. It changes its physical appearance. Every morning. It's damn creepy. And totally unpredictable. One morning the thing looks like Daniel Boone, the next it's Robespierre. And it just sits there eating brown lettuce all the while reminding me of the ultimate futility of the human experiment.
Rabbits aren't supposed to look like famous dead humans. They're supposed to not blink and lay chocolate eggs. Never a moment's piece.
Dreary, meaningless toil and subservience forces the mind to seek escape and comfort. Others without the natural gift of imagination seek out the bottle or the gypsy smoke, but I take pride in my inventiveness. I turn instead to novel outlets like ketchup packet hoarding and burning pictures of horses. When the rotten stress of screaming infants becomes too much, I find solace in repeatedly subscribing and unsubscribing to expensive foreign policy magazines.
Under extreme duress, I have been known to busy myself by renaming all of my furniture.
Even in denial one finds opportunity for expression and individuality.
What we’ve come to realize is that wiping the slate clean is needed and necessary. Nothing else works. So with that in mind I’m going to spend the rest of the decade signing the name Ronald Altonburg. I will accompany this new persona with turtle necks all year long.
React as you will. Ronald A. hasn’t any time for your judgement.
They want Ice Cream Sandwiches! When are you going to wake up and realize that they do not care about your dessert preferences. They will take your Ice Cream Sandwiches. They will unplug your freezer and cut up your Preferred Shopper Card. They will make it impossible for you and your family to enjoy cookies and iced cream in a single bite on a hot July Day.
THEY WANT A CIVIL WAR AND THEY WILL HAVE A CIVIL WAR AND IT WILL NOT BE FOUGHT IN THE CEREAL AISLE.
Conservatives want you to be a slave. They care only for the wealthy. Period. If they eliminate Medicare and put in place yet another system that funnels money and power to giant corporations, there will be a civil war in this country. Medicare and Social Security are among the few things in this country that don't make me feel completely ashamed to live here. What is so terrifying is the totality of brainwashing that afflicts so many workers in this country. Time and time again they vote, essentially, for their own enslavement. They do so because their brains are filled with fear about idiotic concerns about guns and fetuses and gays and on and on and on. These beliefs - and the votes they produce - are impoverishing their communities, their families and their children. On Tuesday, House...
Special boots are needed for this adventure. It’s going to get very squishy. Things will stick to your toes and leave marks. Marks you will not be proud of. Your feet are very precious. Without them, you’d be a defenseless set of ankles sitting on a bus bench.
These special boots are non-refundable. But they’re worth it, and you can pass them onto your children. They will protect your kids from the thousands of hungry mouths they’ll want to smash each day.
Going through the receipts for the tax lady and turns out I spent $8,000 last year on cupcake icing.
Which is low. Things have really slowed down here.