Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn't. He can't stand that shit.
Lot of negative pushback on the decision to replace all of the cement animals and operating windmills at the miniature golf course with harsh, minimalist 12 foot slabs of gray concrete, some inscribed with the names of now-extinct indian tribes that once made their lives on the land under the always-fresh putting greens beneath the golfers' feet.
If it's any consolation, these slabs didn't come cheap!
I found myself, as I so often do, at one of our finer full service gas stations and was confronted, in the Accessories Aisle, with this, the Black Ice Air Freshener. What could it possibly smell like?
And why would someone driving, presumably in a cold climate where such winter road hazards abound, want to be reminded of deadly black ice every time they got behind the wheel? Why would a driver want to explain the aroma of deadly black ice to any new passengers along for the ride?
How did the scientists capture the scent of deadly black ice in the wild without themselves being undone by its dark powers? Why won't this gas station just break down and hire me to dust its shelves? I'm here everyday, often before the other employees arrive!
This morning is a good morning.
I know it is so because upon looking out the window, my first sight was a long, healthy line at the Pancake Man's cart. And the majority of those in line had brought their own plates and silvers.
In these trying times, we as a community need to support our local businesses. Three separate cart vendors (two pineapple and one live snake) have gone under or been chased violently out of the county over the last year. Theirs is a noble art and necessary business.
The fact that our community still embraces Pancake Man Jamison, despite the griddle fire that resulted in over 40% of his upper body being replaced with metal robot parts, tells you everything about the charitable character of our fair town.
Inappropriate uses of Priority Mail service include but are not limited to:
Screaming obscenities into the box, quickly sealing it, sending it to the TV personality that inspired your rage.
Turning the boxes inside out in a vain attempt at time travel.
Sending thousands of ants to your step-sister in Portland.
Mailing hugs to lepers.
Creating an inferiority complex in the remaining majority of your unsent letters and documents.
Drought relief.
The church wouldn't let me name my new celebrity baby "Gas Station Brand Cigarettes."
They insisted I limit myself to what may be found in the Bible.
So, everyone, I'd like to introduce my new baby daughter "ALL DIVINE DIALOGUE PRINTED IN RED TEXT."
It's not what you think.
They just handle a lot of zoning issues in Cincinnati and the greater Cincinnati area.
The name is holdover from pioneer days.
My audio cassette tape lecture series on stomach exercises has been discounted AGAIN. Now the entire 18-tape set plus full color diagram pamphlet is available for only $70. These are high-fidelity audio cassettes recorded in a noise-cancelling isolation chamber normally used to test the dynamics of full plates of food being dropped on the ground. Each and every stomach twist, twirl, knot, pinch, and gouge is captured in full stereo. Strains and grunts have been edited out so that you can focus directly on the aural shivers of abdominal fat. This tape set makes a great gift! These stomach exercises were not designed to give you a rippled or chiseled stature but were instead created to bring out the consciousness inherent in all of our guts. They will acquaint you with your stomach's unique...
