I found myself, as I so often do, at one of our finer full service gas stations and was confronted, in the Accessories Aisle, with this, the Black Ice Air Freshener. What could it possibly smell like? And why would someone driving, presumably in a cold climate where such winter road hazards abound, want to be reminded of deadly black ice every time they got behind the wheel? Why would a driver want to explain the aroma of deadly black ice to any new passengers along for the ride? How did the scientists capture the scent of deadly black ice in the wild without themselves being undone by its dark powers? Why won't this gas station just break down and hire me to dust its shelves? I'm here everyday, often before the other employees arrive!

I found myself, as I so often do, at one of our finer full service gas stations and was confronted, in the Accessories Aisle, with this, the Black Ice Air Freshener. What could it possibly smell like?

And why would someone driving, presumably in a cold climate where such winter road hazards abound, want to be reminded of deadly black ice every time they got behind the wheel? Why would a driver want to explain the aroma of deadly black ice to any new passengers along for the ride?

How did the scientists capture the scent of deadly black ice in the wild without themselves being undone by its dark powers? Why won’t this gas station just break down and hire me to dust its shelves? I’m here everyday, often before the other employees arrive!

Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn't. He can't stand that shit.

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2 comments

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  • It probably smells like licorice. Black licorice. Black licorice that looks like black ice but is shaped like an air freshener.

    I feel bad for any passenger forced to endure that smell.

  • Do they make air fresheners smell like black ice so that people know what black ice smells like? Is it designed to make people better drivers? So that drivers can detect black ice with their nose instead of their eyes? Would this really be a practical skill?