The church wouldn't let me name my new celebrity baby "Gas Station Brand Cigarettes." They insisted I limit myself to what may be found in the Bible. So, everyone, I'd like to introduce my new baby daughter "ALL DIVINE DIALOGUE PRINTED IN RED TEXT."

The church wouldn’t let me name my new celebrity baby “Gas Station Brand Cigarettes.”

They insisted I limit myself to what may be found in the Bible.

So, everyone, I’d like to introduce my new baby daughter “ALL DIVINE DIALOGUE PRINTED IN RED TEXT.”

Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn't. He can't stand that shit.

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