It's an incessant worry that never goes away. I know it's not-it isn't rational. It's not. But I just can't, I…
I know that I will wake up tomorrow to find my Popsicles covered in ants, in fact replaced completely by ants. The box will be filled with all kinds of insects. I won't have any frozen dessert to offer guests.
And then I'll be exposed as a poor host. I will lose standing. In this and all other bowling alleys. Simple as that.

Launching a new holiday is always difficult. Especially one drenched in hostility. But we're starting small, almost regional. Hang A Neoliberal Economist Day will spend the next few years as a greeting card holiday. That's fine. You have to take a long term view of these things.

There used to be a video game called County Clerk. You spent time processing deeds and printing up birth certificates. It had an entire level whose goal was to stand motionless at a big picture window and watch life pass you by. Your office overlooked a dying river where locals dumped old folding chairs. The game was eventually banned by religious groups. Which means some judge granted them the right to enter your home and confiscate the game cartridge, right out of your hands. Some of them left you with a packet of salt free crackers.
That explains why there's no evidence of this game today.
The game company later released a sequel of sorts called Deputy Ambassador but it too was destroyed by Christianity.

It's normal to make a clenched fist while praying. It doesn't work any other way.

Yes you can legally adopt a metal shopping cart and raise it as your child. It was made legal as part of the helmet repeal law a few years back. Rather than shower love, devotion, time and resources on a needy human child, you can instead give that affection to an inanimate, cold, steel wire buggy, originally designed to hold a minimum of three 4-gallon tubs of cat litter. This is what the people wanted. And it's happening. They're taking their country back.

I rub the skin between my toes and I feel brand new.