What You’re Hoping For

What you're hoping for is the city you've just moved to has extremely restrictive ordinances limiting the keeping of caged birds outdoors on your property. This will be all the justification you need to fill your entire apartment/home with thousands of uncaged, loving pigeons.

Citing these laws will also help you win any arguments with loved ones.

MERCURY IN YOUR SWEDISH FISH

For thirteen years in the early part of the 20th century, three prominent automobile companies in Michigan cooperatively undertook a project to force feed area children battery acid runoff and assorted excess chemicals from their manufacturing plants and laboratories. These companies did not undertake this project in secret. Quite the opposite, they boasted about the service they were providing the community and the positive effects such a diet would have on the children's future scholastic and athletic achievement. Turns out they were right. But too right. These children, numbering at least 42,000, all grew to heights between 16-17' and had expansive IQs well beyond the 180 Genius level. Although some of the children were able to make positive use of such gifts, lifting tractors out of...

MORNING CONSTITUTIONAL 05/26/11

Who or what invented the Modern Pop-Up Book?

In the mid-1960s American Waldo Hunt, President of Graphics International, a Los Angeles-based print brokerage company, was creating dimensional pop-up magazine inserts and premiums. Inspired by the Czechoslovakian works, and deterred in an attempt to market them in the U.S., he began to produce his own pop-up books. This decision led to the renaissance of pop-up books as we now know them.

SOURCE: A Concise History of Pop-Up & Movable Books

NIGHTCAP 05/25/11

Images like this restore my faith in this troubled land. Can you comprehend the brilliance of this image? Can you pinpoint what makes this display capital A Art? Don't just skip to the end, really think this through. It's a tough call. The obvious answer is the banana slices in the jell-o block. That is wrong. Others may point to the violently generic Milk Carton with minimal side decoration. Some may favor the compartment plate that not only prevents flavor contamination but also keeps the pea pile primed and pert. Rarer is the eagle eye that points out the double napkin provision, ensuring ample wiping surface (an often overlooked but crucial element for achieving total relief during eating). All of those are valid, but what really makes this photograph of a bland, institutional...

DINNER REVIEW

Science has yet to eliminate those little hairs on the underside of your tongue.

Remember that when the geniuses say you're behind the times for not living in an upside down split-level in southern Ohio with only fish for neighbors made by Apple.