THIS IS THE BLOG OF THE HUMAN DOG.
THIS IS IMPORTANT EVIDENCE OF THE END OF THE WORLD.
ALSO THE OCCASIONAL RECIPE.
THANK YOU.
Rich bankers got bailed out, gave themselves bonuses and now everyone who was already struggling has to suffer and sacrifice. Never forget that.
This system is stupid and pointless. Time for a national strike. The previous generation has blown it completely. I will not follow them to hell.
Finally got me a wooden leg. Made of Real Pine. Varnished and polished and smooth. Solid brass knee joint, bends in three directions and fits, extended, inside a velvet custom case (with handle). I keep the leg on a shelf in full view of the road. School children see it. So does the mail man. When I drive Father MacAbbe home each Sunday, I swing past my house – entirely out of the way- and drive real slow past the picture window. “What leg? I don’t know what you’re talking about, Father. All I see is a very happy, well-run home. No I don’t have any family to speak of but I hardly think that should stop you from supporting my bid to become Alderman.” Then I’ll stop the car and if the humidity is just right, I’ll lean over and whisper:...
“Get your house in order!” they scream. And they throw garbage at me and my pets.
Still I persist. Still I go forward. Still I carve away, slowly, with the bent knife and the little jeweler’s glass. Lot of people wondered why anyone would spend so much time painting huge pictures of empty fields and sacks of sand.
Once completed, I will let the paint dry then, beginning in the upper righthand corner, eat the entire accursed artwork. I will refuse naps and any offers of water. Snap your photos and scribble curse words if you must.
I will not stop.
EARLY LUNCH CONVERSATION STARTER What is it about Marine Life that enchants us so? The Whales and Shrimp and Penguins and Porpoises and Seals and Walruses and Star Fish and so on and so forth. What is it about them that makes men spends endless hours whittling away in their workshops on full life-size mechanical recreations – the kind that you have to wind up or get a neighbor to wind while you’re away – of these creatures so that we might be nearer to them without threat of losing an arm? Is it the cold, sure certainty of their starless-night dark eyes? The way they’re slippery without being slimy (unlike those horrible cave-dwelling albino rats)? Is it their mastery of latin dance? Whatever it is about these doleful, simple animals that keeps us returning to the...
When people make the decision to go into the public sector for less money and finite earning potential, they do so with the understanding that other aspects of their employment will compensate for reduced income, i.e. benefits and pension. So it is, and so has it always been.
Why is this such a hot-button issue now? Because inefficient state governments have urinated away taxpayers’ money on unnecessary expenditures and now want to recoup it on the backs of municipal employees.
From a Comment by Ortho Stice on This TPM Story
Lost everything I had in the flavored Q-tip business. Had to start over. Began collecting coupons. Hoarding them, really. Any and all coupons I could get. Almost all for items I knew going in I would never buy.
Stuff like boat covers and illustrated accounts of the Korean War: Year One.
Yet I kept at it. Set up shop in a Kohl’s dept store bathroom stall. Even had a phone line installed. Now I supervise 45 lessors and three mobile furnaces.
I attribute all of it to my ability to induce back spasms in people through the power of sheer thought.
GOODNIGHT TO YOU AND YOURS
Students Protest Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker from dane101 on Vimeo.
Protesting the Pig Governor of Wisconsin’s Attack on workers and students.
Whales
MORNING CONSTITUTIONAL
This is America, goddamnit, the last thing you want to be caught doing is thinking Long Term. Your chief concern is the next quarter, if that.
But these thoughts of tomorrow often burrow in past our defenses. To guard against them it’s a good idea to surround yourself with three or four air-pop popcorn makers running on high. The raw seed is cheap, invest in extension cords and bowls.
You’ll also want one of the servants to cut off both your hands.
Snakes!
