Thought Prevention

MORNING CONSTITUTIONAL

This is America, goddamnit, the last thing you want to be caught doing is thinking Long Term. Your chief concern is the next quarter, if that.

But these thoughts of tomorrow often burrow in past our defenses. To guard against them it’s a good idea to surround yourself with three or four air-pop popcorn makers running on high. The raw seed is cheap, invest in extension cords and bowls.

You’ll also want one of the servants to cut off both your hands.

About Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn’t. He can’t stand that shit.

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