DEPT: Blog

THIS IS THE BLOG OF THE HUMAN DOG.
THIS IS IMPORTANT EVIDENCE OF THE END OF THE WORLD.
ALSO THE OCCASIONAL RECIPE.
THANK YOU.

THIS SPACE INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK

A lot of people think you have to highjack an ice cream truck to be happy in life. Most of them are right. For some, though, happiness is achieved by building an ever-enlarging bon fire of couches and end tables in your neighbor's driveway.

MORNING CONSTITUTIONAL 03/29/11

[caption id="attachment_4330" align="alignright" width="146" caption="Merman Indian Chief"][/caption] Have you seriously considered the implications of Boat Ownership? Sure it looks like fun but how will you feel when the reservoir breaks, the town is flooded, you have just seconds to gather your family and precious gems collection, only to remember the foosball table, Weber Gas Grill, broken Lawn Tent and hundreds of board games you've been storing inside the boat since you lost interest in sailing and became afraid of open water last fall? It's easier to simply evolve gills and live amongst the Mermaid People at the bottom of the sea rather than ruin your credit rating and suffer another public humiliation in front your neighbors. Pictured here is a Gay Mer-Man Indian Chief Christmas...

TORNADO DAMAGE

Disaster. Three tornadoes converged in our county last night in a freak, although not-unexpected, early spring storm. Amongst the casualties was Big John's 33-Hole Miniature Golf park and Bumper Boat-a-rama. Seen in the photo, an uprooted tree has completely disabled holes 14 and 16. And the yellow, stone Aztec warrior, "Abe," who stands guard at hole 21 has dislodged from his concrete base and is pitched dangerously to one side. Also damaged were a series of clown-headed garbage barrels near the clubhouse. The destruction was severe enough that half of the park will remain closed until at least August which leaves St Clair Shores without a fully-functioning Miniature Golf Park for the first time since 1993. Cross town's Golf Star park has been without running water and fresh clubs for...

G.A. Cohen Lecture Part 6

Gerald (Jerry) Cohen was a Marxist political philosopher. He was Chichele Professor of Social and Political Theory at Oxford and subsequently Quain Professor of Jurisprudence at University College London.

Nothing a Trip to the Wood Shed Can’t Fix

Raspberries. In certain circles on the Internet, it is customary to violently stab the keyboard while typing so as to scare off competitors and doubters. The trick is to overwhelm them with your passion and keep them from asking for your chair. You've been sitting in that chair for hours and it's right good and warm. They don't deserve that warmth, not with those crossed eyes. They didn't earn it. This sort of typing has severe consequences for online work and correspondence. The hatred affects even the letters. They become exhausted and easily spooked. Some of the weaker consonants become unavailable (think lower-case "y") and must be coaxed back into service with hours of soothing talk and flattery. Much time is wasted that could be better spent posting and commenting on photos of soap...

MORNING CONSTITUTIONAL 03/26/11

Imagine with me for a moment, a world with inexhaustible supplies of pudding and yogurt products. With Cinnamon and Whipped Toppings for all, regardless of national origin. Permanently-assigned spoons with your names etched into the handle. Smiles from the Honey Bears and Salutes from the Chocolate Pigs. Paradise.

Such a world is within our reach. In our lifetime. With our technology, our understanding, our compassion and our will, we can bring about such deserved desserts.

AND BIBS! We'll each have bibs so as not to muss our novelty tees!

Nightcap 03/25/11

The dream journal to my left lists seven separate Lima bean dreams and it’s still March. They’re not entirely bland dreams, though. Often the Lima beans figure into some sort of jewel heist or art larceny. Throwing the dried beans into the faces of security and so on.
Still the frequency of such visions is alarming. I suspect it has to do with the onset of trampoline weather.

TRIANGLE FIRE LEGACY

I can't talk fellowship to you who are gathered here. Too much blood has been spilled. I know from my experience it is up to the working people to save themselves. The only way they can save themselves is by a strong working-class movement.

SOURCE

NEVER KNOW

None of our tools are powerful enough to cut through these bars.
There's no other way around, we have to get inside this Yogurt Bar.
We need a creature with unparalleled biting power. With a merciful jaw and no soul.

Now do you regret killing all the alligators?

THE GOVERNOR OF MAINE IS AN ASSHOLE

Maine Governor Paul LePage has ordered state workers to remove from the state labor department a 36-foot mural depicting the state's labor history. Among other things the mural illustrates the 1937 shoe mill strike in Auburn and Lewiston. It also features the iconic "Rosie the Riveter," who in real life worked at the Bath Iron Works. One panel shows my predecessor at the U.S. Department of Labor, Frances Perkins, who was buried in Newcastle, Maine.

The LePage Administration is also renaming conference rooms that had carried the names of historic leaders of American labor, as well as former Secretary Perkins.

The Governor's spokesman explains that the mural and the conference-room names were "not in keeping with the department's pro-business goals."

SOURCE