Author - Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn't. He can't stand that shit.

Strong bones, tough skin

Texas dogs grow a thick, near bullet proof exoskeleton each March, only to shed it by late April. The rest of the year they are pleasant companions, no different than any other of the lower mammals.
During The Roughening, though, they’re in no mood for joy. They need small creatures to devour and thick Catalogs to chew. It’s of this guide’s opinion that you schedule family events outside this yearly disturbance.


Gonna buy a railroad in the morning and ride it all the way to the ocean. When I get there I will sit down and confess everything to the one-eared creatures in the tide pools.
You’re not invited.

Hard Facts Candies

Hard Facts Candies cover the full spectrum. The red ones taste like mortality. The blue taste like long Comcast branch office lobby waiting lines.
Green tastes like the necessity of renewing your real estate license because the novel still hasn’t sold.