The charity coin jug is filthy. Everyone is too ashamed to clean it. It's got more grime and dirt and dead spiders in it than quarters. Yesterday Alan dumped in thirteen, greasy bowling alley tokens. And he did it very slowly, one token at a time. He counted aloud as each one dropped in, so loud he was sure all could hear.

“This one's gonna cure Ugly Leg.” THUNK!

“This one's gonna cure The Gout.” THUNK!

“This one'll make your children love ya.” THUNK!

“You hear that, Janice?! Ehh!”

It went on all night. Eventually Hank wrestled him down and reminded him of his sins.

Still, nobody's gonna clean that jug.

Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn't. He can't stand that shit.

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