Let us wallow in our favorite Lost Causes:
Halloween Candy kept in the freezer in hopes of preventing further hauntings.
Finishing that novel that doesn't make use of the word “Yelping.”
Reopening the roller skate factory.
Petitioning the Vatican for permission to use the word “pew” in mixed company.
Scraping the residue from the inside corner windshield sticker promoting Dad's failed sticker-making business and still functional but abandoned sticker-making machine.