Exciting election season upon us here in the land of the shores. For thirteen years, our district has been represented by an operational 1977 RCA portable “Sunlight” model record player with 45 disc adapter ring slowly spinning an Alamando Fortez “Never, Never, Never,” album. Term limits will send it back to Pastor Anlich's under stair storage closet.
No matter who has the seat come January, the true winners are the American people as this reshuffling will free up yards and yards of power cable that can be reused in the town's holiday display.
And help fight tornadoes.

You can eat gold. It can become part of you. Then they can never take it from you. But that doesn't mean they won't try. They'll saw off your toes at night. Or photograph your hair.

Still, just another excuse to kick someone right in the face.

"THOMAS! COME IN HERE AN' HELP ME BURN THESE MATTRESSES!"

...

My advice still stands: Carry a wheel with you. Everywhere.

Lot of debate lately about what to do with the abandoned Burger King. As I recall it was the site of a number of high profile patron illness incidents. It stayed open for several more years, though. Finally closed down when the county outlawed dessert. The restaurant portion is pretty much intact. Burger King corporate took out all the fryers and sink knobs and flipped all the menus inside out, but they're still readable. The playland area in front, though, hasn't held up to the scrappers and barn owls. There's some vinyl-rubber net ladder melted around a fiberglass onion ring and the ball pit puts off a lot of steam when it rains. It's most certainly filled with spiders and ghosts. The whole place is just a mess. The persistent chemical smell has forced the daycares to reroute their rope...

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Time to clear the cobwebs.
Baked goods. Charlie horses. The 5th of December.

It's no use. I still love that lamp.

There are many reasons to force a child to eat a plate of charcoal.

Most of the good ones concern saving the roofing tiles for yourself.