You can eat gold. It can become part of you. Then they can never take it from you. But that doesn't mean they won't try. They'll saw off your toes at night. Or photograph your hair. Still, just another excuse to kick someone right in the face. "THOMAS! COME IN HERE AN' HELP ME BURN THESE MATTRESSES!" ... My advice still stands: Carry a wheel with you. Everywhere.

You can eat gold. It can become part of you. Then they can never take it from you. But that doesn’t mean they won’t try. They’ll saw off your toes at night. Or photograph your hair.

Still, just another excuse to kick someone right in the face.

“THOMAS! COME IN HERE AN’ HELP ME BURN THESE MATTRESSES!”

My advice still stands: Carry a wheel with you. Everywhere.

Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn't. He can't stand that shit.

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