LATE AFTERNOON STOMACH CRUNCH

I need a Water Cannon. I cannot afford a Water Cannon. Well, I can afford a Water Cannon, I just cannot afford the Water Cannon I want. Which is a Water Cannon that isn't subject to the laws of gravity. And can grant wishes. Also, I'd like it to come in Slate Gray.

ONE THING

Johnny Red got his fame by doing one thing and doing it well.

And that one thing was walking through bowling alleys, randomly punching people.