A Museum dedicated to unused, still-in-the-wrap Index Cards?
Excuse me, I meant to say, "FINALLY, a Museum dedicated to unused, still-in-the-wrap Index Cards!"
DEPT: Blog
THIS IS THE BLOG OF THE HUMAN DOG.
THIS IS IMPORTANT EVIDENCE OF THE END OF THE WORLD.
ALSO THE OCCASIONAL RECIPE.
THANK YOU.
A selection of miniature trees is needed. Not next week, not tomorrow, NOW. They shall be arranged in rows, yes, but shall not be uniform in type. Some will be coniferous, some deciduous, others petrified, a few shall bear fruit. One will be dusted with artificial snow and bring good spirits to all who are near. These trees are not to be eaten, nor to be part of any elaborate window display. They are for our edification so that the forest romp following our supper shall not be done in ignorance. Or fear. And those at the table who insist that if one listens oh-so-carefully and precisely and all the stir of the rumpus room shall still, one would hear the song of a microscopic Bird of Pleasure issuing forth from our tiny orchard, shall be regarded as fools who do not know when delight has...
Ever have the unfortunate experience of looking into one of those clear plastic Honey Bear honey bottles only to see, trapped in the golden sludge, a tiny, little human being, a mask of horror locked onto its face? How did he end up there, so far from home? How long has he been in there? Minutes? Years? Why isn’t he just a skeleton? If the honey is that good at preserving his features, what on earth is it doing to my digestive track? Did his village send a search party out for him? Where is his village? Ohio? Think they have charming little bed and breakfasts? Am I just stereotyping? And what of this restaurant? What kind of place is this with little people getting into the food? What’s going on in that kitchen? What’s trapped inside this opaque mustard squeeze bottle...
I could really go for hearing the sound of heavy machinery and furnaces and fixtures being hastily moved in a far off room by ugly, angry men who never wanted to deal with this mess in the first place right now.
A group of Mexican-American students in Tucson, Arizona prevented their school district from voting on Tuesday night for a controversial measure that would destroy an ethnic studies course that some have called one of the most effective Latin American education program in the U.S. public school system. The students of UNIDOS stormed into the Tucson School District board room chanting, “Education is under attack! What do we do? FIGHT BACK!” Just as the group was making its presence known, with no warning 10 students rushed the board’s seats and chained themselves together as others unfurled a banner that read “UNIDOS Presents The Youth School Board.” They demanded that their program continue, that education be be placed under local control and that Arizona end “anti-indigenous policies”...
Obama on Republican attacks on workers:
Let’s make sure we’ve got shared sacrifice and that we make sure that the burden just doesn’t fall on one set of folks. Let’s certainly not blame public employees for a financial crisis that they had nothing to do with. And let’s not use this as an excuse to erode their bargaining rights. So, whether it’s Wisconsin or what we’re seeing in Ohio, I strongly disapprove.
SOURCE
Thing that’s got me worried tonight is that new jellyfish the scientists say ages in reverse. It never dies and can grow as large as a tree. Now the nearest saltwater ocean is roughly 1000 miles from where I type this. I figure I need to either dig another shelter or construct an airship that functions at 35,000 feet where the thin air would make the jellyfish explode which would be wicked cool.
REMEMBER: As we grow weaker, it grows stronger.
And you say the UN is obsolete.
Goat Fight Series by Sebastian Lindén.
CIVILTY! ORDER! There's no need for so many open umbrellas indoors. Let your arguments stand on their own. Theatricality, car batteries, and raw eggs have no place in the Patent Office.
Let’s review the Pros and Cons of Amusement Park management:
PRO: You’re in charge of an amusement park
CON: Your employees are certain to hate you, including those skilled at throwing knives
PRO: You choose which cartoon animal best represents the way new rides make your gut feel
CON: You’re ultimately responsible for emptying the lost children pen
PRO: You get to try on all newly acquired mascot costumes in the privacy of your mobile home
CON: Convincing the local Indian tribe your porta-john corral honors their burial grounds
PRO: You’re trusted with the cotton candy recipe
CON: You get paid in ferris wheel rides
PRO: The bearded lady looks past your facial scars
CON: You’re in charge of an amusement park
The gentleman told me he wanted to animate a couch growing older. He was serious about this project. He had done the research. He had photos from furniture retirement communities and private furniture funerals. The kind always rumored but never fully witnessed by science. He had little jars labeled COUCH BREATH and CUSHION GAS which he wouldn’t let me touch. He had a sketch book and some pens and said he wanted full-on Disney-style animation, no matter the cost. He asked the best way to draw a couch skeleton and I told him (respectfully). He wanted real textures and complicated seam work. He was willing to do without sleep or the company of women. I assumed it was a scam from the outset, but I played along in hopes of getting his business card business. That’s my passion...