Some of the Downsides of owning a Stuffed Animal Factory:

  • Nobody wants a stuffed stomach parasite. There’s no creativity. Nobody’s taking risks.
  • The stuffing? It’s all asbestos.
  • The machine breaks and you end up donating 40 bags of teddy bear legs to the children’s hospital.
  • You can catch leprosy from stuffed armadillos all the same.
  • It’s tedious cutting marbles in half to make eyeballs. You have to use those stubby industrial scissors. You can never hold them right.
  • The neighbors always complaining about all the screaming.

Sorry, that’s a zoning issue.

Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn't. He can't stand that shit.

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