If I start up a discount electronics store I will have access to as many free economy-sized Microwave Ovens as I please. The only downside is, I'd have to live with the appliances, making them my family. A cold, electric, probably Japanese-speaking family. I already have enough Samurai uncles. I can't do it. Your honor, I plead Guilty.

If I start up a discount electronics store I will have access to as many free economy-sized Microwave Ovens as I please.

The only downside is, I’d have to live with the appliances, making them my family. A cold, electric, probably Japanese-speaking family.

I already have enough Samurai uncles. I can’t do it.

Your honor, I plead Guilty.

Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn't. He can't stand that shit.

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