Lately I’ve been frying up old Super Nintendo game cartridges and eating them before bed. Like grilled cheese, I use plenty of butter and often eat it with little else beyond three liters of Grape Faygo.

The butter combines with the natural flavor of the cartridge plastic to create a pleasing, smokey taste and accompanying each bite is not a crunch but a sound effect noise from the game in question. Usually it’s the jumping sound.

But my God, the nightmares. Granted I’ve always had terrible nightmares throughout the night, but this meal produces a unique horror. I wake up with my teeth clenched down hard on my tongue and claw marks up and down my arms. And grease paint everywhere.

There’s nothing healthy about any of it. There’s also nothing that says I have to change. There is no tomorrow in this country, so I’ll just drink a few extra Red Bulls at work and get back to learning Mandarin.

Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn't. He can't stand that shit.

View all posts

Add comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *