Working backwards, my present situation can ultimately be traced back to the decision almost eight years ago to eat a whole, raw onion in front of the Governor during her Easter morning address. If only I’d chosen a less abrasive vegetable or turned my head when biting down, perhaps things would’ve turned out differently. Perhaps if I had decided to go around in public offering the whole onion (and others like it) to strangers instead of eating it myself, perhaps I’d be on the right end of a MacArthur fellowship and not trudging through this enormous parking lot with two, overstuffed filing cabinets attached to my legs.


Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn't. He can't stand that shit.

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