One would imagine there’d be more holidays like Halloween. Not the costume part, but days where going up to strangers’ doors and demanding a free prize would not be an arrest able offense. The government wouldn’t have to limit it to giving away candy, either. Some days, say in the spring, everyone could give away those little hotel-sized bars of soap. The really dedicated celebrants could make their own bars and even imprint a custom logo into them. Early August would be a good time to walk up to a strange person’s private residence, as an unshaven grown man, and ask for an entirely new wardrobe. Some of the families might offer you a handful of stew but either way you’d walk away a better American. I suppose the reason why the big banks don’t want so many holidays centered around giving treats to the hungry and powerless is that eventually we’d come knocking on their doors. We’d demand some share of their gallons of liquid silver. And they’d have to hurt our feelings and say no, which they hate doing more than anything.