MORNING CONSTITUTIONAL 06/20/11

Summer heat has driven the Great Lakes' mightiest mammals inland to escape the boiling surface water. I'm talking Lake Bears and Water Skinks. Being mammals, they must come up for air every so often. That means passing through the top thirty feet of clear water that, due to temperatures, could boil most pastas in under thirty minutes. Oh it's true. And horrible for property values. The Lake Bears are especially dangerous. Not so much when they're on land. They mostly just lay about drinking sap and eating whatever you throw onto the compost heap. No, what's really treacherous is their arrival. Wanting to spend as little time passing through the boiling zone as possible, the Lake Bears use their hind fins to gather speed in the dark, bleak lake depths, shooting out of the water like...

Indian River

Growing up I never feared Indian River. Now that I’m older, and know the history, the stories about it turning to fire and making beautiful women ugly simply because it could…
I respect it. And will paint it. One painting of the Indian River for every year I have left on earth.

RESTLESS

The citizens are restless. Their brains are filled with anxiety they cannot tame. They don't know where it's coming from nor when it will leave. Some suspect it grows out of the uncertainty of Economic Depression. Others fear widespread revolt of the animal kingdom for humanity's crimes against them.

The populace is reacting in unexpected ways. Each night, during my patrol, I see another house with it's furniture piled high atop its roof. The family languishing inside, dazed, unsure of where to sit or where to place their cereal bowls. The piles of furniture are a protest. But how? And in what way? And against who?

They do not know.