The American Way of life is Non-Negotiable.
"The Snow Globe business is ripe for reinvention" That's the first thing I saw this morning. Scrawled across the ceiling of my chamber. It was written in permanent marker, so the author was obviously serious in their warning. I admit I have been a been wayward in my stewardship of the family snow globe concern. It's one of those machines you just wind up and let run on its own. Seems not. A quick online search reveals custom globes, leather globes, globes that are cubed instead of round. Each one taking a bite of my sales. Nothing immediately alarming, but leaving these threats unanswered could lead to bulk dollar store sales or worse. That settles it. Today I get personally re-involved with the Snow Globe business that bears my name. I'm going to have to start filling them by hand again...
Here’s an additional article about a chimpanzee who was forced to learn man’s language and destroyed, emotionally, psychically and physically as a result. He was also given an stupid name: Perhaps the saddest aspect of Nim’s life is that after Terrace concluded in Science that Nim was using sign language only as as sophisticated form of begging, which had the effect of killing most chimp research at the time, Nim spent the rest of his life living in cages and desperately signing to people. He even taught sign language to his fellow chimps. When approached by an unfamiliar human, Nim would sign his desire for food, freedom and companionship (what else is there?). If the human signed back, Nim was thrilled. If the human didn’t know sign language, he would lapse into passive...
Read this, dear friends, and we can both share the same nightmare tonight: The American people and their wants and needs are not represented in Washington. Washington serves powerful interest groups, such as the military/security complex, Wall Street and the banksters, agribusiness, the oil companies, the insurance companies, pharmaceuticals, and the mining and timber industries. Washington endows these interests with excess profits by committing war crimes and terrorizing foreign populations with bombs, drones, and invasions, by deregulating the financial sector and bailing it out of its greed-driven mistakes after it has stolen Americans’ pensions, homes, and jobs, by refusing to protect the land, air, water, oceans and wildlife from polluters and despoilers, and by constructing a...
This is embarrassing for everyone involved, myself most of all. The ice cream eating contest was meant to be a bonding experience. It was supposed to be a light-hearted, jolly wrap up to another fantastic corporate event. An ice cream eating contest, by its very nature, is low stakes. The competition itself is its own reward, after all. I will never understand where the idea that the winner would get not only a $5 Gift Card to Dairy Boy, but also be granted the opportunity to be adopted by my wife Onaedo and me and raised as a wolf-baby began. I did not author, nor have even read, the supposed memo outlining such a reward and its accompanying sketches of a feral child holding pen and mess pit it is purported I built to restrict you to until you are "of fighting weight." The whole matter...
Every night for the past 7 years I've been sneaking into the next door neighbor's house and silently raising their towel bars ever so slightly. Just a quarter inch or so each time. I repair the drywall and paint and rehang the towels just as I've found them. They don't really notice the change and so have slowly adapted to ever increasing heights without issue. Now finally, the towel bars in their master bath are 37 feet higher than normal. I've had to raise the ceiling several times, all in total silence, but it's worked out. But now it's paying off. To simply hang a washcloth to dry after wiping up vomit, they require either an acrobatics team (which they don't have) or multiple ladders. My ladder rental business is booming. If the man of house's incontinence keeps up, I'll be able to...