The question was asked, “How many infirm are smiled at on a typical Smile at the Infirm Day?” Blocks and blocks of them. I lost count around 27. For as far as you can see, group homes, nursing centers, rotting pits, and foreclosed apartment complexes all haul out their infirm for a nice, friendly smile. The orderlies, nurses and caregivers line up the infirm real nice and even along the side of the road. Special care is taken to apply the brakes and locks of wheel chairs and gurneys to prevent a repeat of the third annual day’s pile up and stampede. This year, the infirm were arranged in sections. The merely decrepit came first, followed by the disturbed, the previously chewed-on by large animals, then those missing limbs and/or heads and finally a fenced-in section for...

Just a midday check in during St Clair Shores’ fifth annual “Smile at the Infirm Day.”
Things are going pretty well. I’ve only experienced minor jaw cramping so far and no sign of the headaches of last year. The low humidity is a big help.
Large police presence this time, which protects both smilers and the infirm.
Sitting down for a nice thick stew lunch.
I’ll file a more detailed report later.

Another night’s sleep ruined by the ghosts of dead ball players. I told them I can’t help them. That I don’t know what the numbers 13, 24, 57 mean, that I don’t know anybody named “Doc” and that, yes, I know, no one strikes out in heaven.
I DO NOT CARE.
Either deliver my letters to dead bowlers or get out!

That kid that was born with a boot stuck to his back died today. He was 14. A real inspiration to everybody, especially the school photographers. He never let it get him down, having a solid leather work boot permanently stuck in the center of his back. He stayed positive. Joined all the clubs and teams, even had the start of a promising singing career. I’ve known people spending all their free time sitting inside rusted out water heaters – by choice! – who didn’t face half the adversity this kid did. This kid got up each day after sleeping on the special bed with the hole cut in it, put on the open-backed smock shirts his mom sewed, filled his mouth with paper towel and DID HIS THING. And he never complained! And now…and now, thanks to a prison break...

Certainly an abundance of eating competitions commemorating 9/11 this year…
Just an observation.

According to your letter, you want to host an End Table Rodeo right here in your very own living room. Here’s what I know: It’s just like a rodeo you see on TV except instead of cows it utilizes magic spells to bring end tables to life for the purposes of riding them in circles and remorselessly hog-tying them for the pleasure of strangers. Prizes can include ribbons and candy. Benefits: You’re guaranteed to become the Hero of the neighborhood. No question. You will gain exciting new carpet tread patterns with minimal effort. Allows you to finally make use of that intensive, three day Rodeo Clown Training Course that cost you $700+lab fees last year. Advantages: Gives you a fantastic excuse to use up all the month’s food money buying ugly, often water damaged, end...