The men's room is in the basement.
I respect an establishment that makes me walk downstairs to pee.
Author - Chris Weagel
Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn't. He can't stand that shit.
Of all the lesser sports, Bowling is perhaps the most hated. It is considered lower than hockey, field hockey and air hockey. Better society looks upon bowlers with naked contempt. Twice in this nation’s history, talk at the congressional level has turned to banishment and forced exiling of bowlers. The great Olympic committee, who considers shooting the leaders of eastern European states a competition worthy sport, will never award a bowler a copper metal. Never. It has in fact stripped champions of the better sports of their medals for being seen in public bowling alleys. But I stand with the bowlers. I share their outlaw/layabout status. I take great pride in putting on shoes that do not belong to me and consuming gas station-level hot dogs during competition. I, too, have the...
So I'm trying to figure out how to fit them all into the garage, which itself is filled with about 15 broken pinball games that are gonna be worth money some day.
A happy man walks through the dark,
a bag of green onion potato chips in each hand.
He doesn't give a shit about
fucking haiku.
Everything's so thoroughly organized in such a cute and cuddly way in Pocket Town. It makes me feel ugly inside. Ugh. Drive Faster.
Head over to Scratchy Felt Blanketville. They make a good steak.
I do not understand Birds. As a species they are incomprehensible to me. The closest I've come is deciphering what a chicken might be thinking. I suspect they're focused on Oil Futures trading, but even that I can't be certain about.
Sparrows, penguins, hawks, and hummingbirds I have no connection to.
Even Gray Parrots - the same birds whose intelligence powers our smartest super computers - are a mystery.
I may have a learning disorder.
Every night I tune into my local TV Newscast and am consistently disappointed.
What I want is simple. I want the news delivered in a calm, factual manner by large industrial appliances speaking in computer language. Beeps and boops, that sort of thing. No english words.
No subtitling either.