I do not understand Birds. As a species they are incomprehensible to me. The closest I've come is deciphering what a chicken might be thinking. I suspect they're focused on Oil Futures trading, but even that I can't be certain about. Sparrows, penguins, hawks, and hummingbirds I have no connection to. Even Gray Parrots - the same birds whose intelligence powers our smartest super computers - are a mystery. I may have a learning disorder.

I do not understand Birds. As a species they are incomprehensible to me. The closest I’ve come is deciphering what a chicken might be thinking. I suspect they’re focused on Oil Futures trading, but even that I can’t be certain about.

Sparrows, penguins, hawks, and hummingbirds I have no connection to.

Even Gray Parrots – the same birds whose intelligence powers our smartest super computers – are a mystery.

I may have a learning disorder.

Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn't. He can't stand that shit.

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