During roll call it is important that you remain staring at the wall and present all instruments, weaponry, and scarring, no matter how cartoonish, for inspection. A steady hand on your shoulder signals the need for private advisement to correct deficiencies. Fifteen minutes in an isolation chamber identifying yogurt flavors should suffice. Harsher therapies will be conducted outside the view of the balloons. They're here to bring happiness, not endure your frailties.

Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn't. He can't stand that shit.

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