Preacher says, time and again, the only folks who can be trusted were born with twelve fingers and probably smell like cotton straightener. As for the rest of these monsters – the ones that surround us all the time always – he suggests using electrical tape to stick lists of their deficiencies to their backs to free up space in your mind’s limited memory chambers, filling them instead with photos of sharks.

He also advocates tearing dogs in half in the hope each end grows a new dog, rebuilding his army without additional cost.

Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn't. He can't stand that shit.

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