You know what's big in The Bermuda Triangle now? Table legs. Really ornate, carved table legs. People carry 'em around by the dozen. Most are natural wood, with stain but some are painted. They paint them a nice white then put gold ring accents around them. It's a status thing. Table tops themselves have been outlawed for years now. But the legs? That's the loop hole. Everybody's gotta get them. People hoard them. And they never let you touch them. It's a real, “look at it from afar” type society. You know. Here I am, with my table legs, this is how I am now, better than ever and ultra-fab. The whole culture is built upon inconvenience.

And you still can't get a glass of ice water anywhere.

Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn't. He can't stand that shit.

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