You’re right to blame Americans. Blame them first. Above all others. They wanted shirtless roller coaster photography. They support State execution of cartoons. Your average American citizen feels no shame in demonstrating his ability to crush mice with his knees. Nor does he feel any embarrassment over the quality of his nation’s back road buffets. You know – the kind with thick rice.

Say it with me now, out loud, in front of God and the World:

“I blame Americans for the decline of the ship-in-a-bottle industry.”

Oh, it’s like a big drink of ice water after a long afternoon working in the garage.

Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn't. He can't stand that shit.

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