Nightcap 02/12/13

Mr. Wallace became famous for always walking in a straight line.

“I have no choice in the matter,” he was known to say.

He was also known to hurl garden rakes into large crowds of people, without mercy.

“I throw them way up in the air. I have to get them away from me very fast. I know somebody wants these things. I don't want to find out who.”

Mr. Wallace was destroyed by centripetal forces, much like those that formed our solar system.

About Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn't. He can't stand that shit.

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