Recently, children at local schools were shown a series of photographs of pinball machines and were greatly upset. Many visibly shaken, a few driven to tears. This was repeated at all grade levels, K-6, with older students demonstrating increased aggression during subsequent PE and lunch sessions.

Mere photographs brought on these dark moods. As yet, no child has been brought into physical contact with an actual pinball machine; current “Mechanical Delights-Free Zone” legislation being what it is, few will.

The path ahead for the pinball and broader glass-enclosed, inclined-plane entertainment industry is clear: shut down, liquidation, abandonment and disavowal. In short, we all pretend it never happened. Any reference to pinball games will heretofore be denounced as gross misunderstandings of jukeboxes and wind-up Indians and the elves that power them and be dropped from acceptable discussion.

His leg was crushed by a Blind Donkey pinball machine, Ma. It ain't his fault!

Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn't. He can't stand that shit.

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