Leather Juice Recipes – A Note

Far too few contemporary Leather Juice recipes allow sufficient time for a heavily-used dump truck to be submerged in the fermenting vat. Some guzzlers are so impatient they suggest merely dipping an old tire into the batch before bottling. Some go so far as to recommend only viewing an unrelated construction vehicle through a tall glass of Leather Juice prior to serving.

In addition to loss of robustness, ignoring the truck marination step deprives Leather Juice of its immune system-bolstering properties and leaves it without its distinct sat-upon flavor. How can we, the independent Leather Juice distillers and bottlers demand respect when so many of us deny our product the same?

Gentleman – the question remains: Do we wish to drink a sweaty, work-glove-like, glass of liquid shoe-belt juice with our eggs? Or are we content, like half-blind children, with bottles of rainbow bubble water from SuperMarket Jack’s?

I yield my remaining time to the distinguished gentleman from Nebraska.

Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn't. He can't stand that shit.

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