I remain a big fan of animals getting loose in thoroughly human environments. It's a moment of absolute terror and confusion for all involved. The animal, the humans, the relevant authorities. Everyone is reduced to quivering instinct and raw panic. All order breaks down. The beast is out numbered, surrounded by an alien landscape, yet still a deadly to man.

No one knows what to do. As far as anyone is concerned, that escaped lion could wind up Mayor of this town. It's possible. Everything is.

An ostrich could find itself superintendent of schools, forced to play out its three year term. Armed policemen could decide, “yes, this is it. This is my moment.” And strip down and join up with the orangutans. “Why not? What the hell does this badge mean, anyway? I want to be free.”

Even a chicken running loose through a shoe store calls into question the basic tenets of western civilization.

That's why you'll find me out in the stock yards, sleeves rolled up, doing my best to overturn the circus train.

Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn't. He can't stand that shit.

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