It was then that I decided to specialize in a type of animation that utilizes live snakes. Which led to the student academy award. Which led to the purchase of white shoes. Which led to a carnival ride being named in my honor. Which led to striped pants being outlawed in this state. Which led, finally, to me seriously considering adoption.

And, so, no, Anchez, I don't know your real mother. I don't know what challenges she faced. But I love you. And we, us, your family loves you. And we will always support you. And your “pretzel-shaped” leg.

Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn't. He can't stand that shit.

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