The practice of tying live horses to public statuary has resumed in these parts. Groups of men use large leather belts normally reserved for shave taverns to lash the beasts to fountains and monuments around the city. Sometimes they paint the rear half of the horse solid black or yellow. They leave a few strong boys behind with sharpened canes to prevent do-gooders from rescuing the horses.

Unfed and exposed to the elements, the beasts last at most two weeks during the winter. Once it has passed, the men allow the carcass to be covered in white sheets while it is consumed by glue traders and hoofsmen.

They go to all this trouble, my Lord, because they claim it keeps away dark enchantments.

The Lord God responds, “Is there still a Hardee's in this town? They have the best hash browns.”

Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn't. He can't stand that shit.

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