When I signed up to be sat on by this giant prehistoric bird I assumed there would be canisters of beef jerky within reach at all times.
When I signed up to model wigs for the Kaiser, I never imagined I'd have to draw pictures of tug boats up and down his arms in a vain attempt to explain animation to him.
When I signed up for delivery of smoked meat platters I never imagined I was really a mannequin without a mouth or digestive tract and have metal stand poles instead of feet.
When I signed up to count roller skates for the army, I thought every third pair would be a sliced bagel with no battlefield application.
When I woke up a lizard man and not a human being, I assumed they were wrong, that the vaccines really do work.