The key to assembling a good daily lunch menu is tranquility. You don't want to offend or upset anyone. Lunch is one of the few meals that respects an eater's dignity. It doesn't require any costuming or condescending utensils. Self-administered ketchup is encouraged. And a Snickers bar or cigarette are acceptable desserts. If people want to eat from a fake red plastic basket, let them. You can hand them the food using a pool skimmer if needed.

And so, taking into account the sensibilities and unpleasantness of our diners, I offer the following lunch time meal every workday and most even-numbered Sundays each month:

  • Room Temperature Fish
  • Pear Cup
  • Hollandaise Sauce
  • One can, Diet Sprite

As I'm sure you've seen in your newsfeed,
I serve this by gloved hand on single-ply Chinet.

Cost: 4 credits.

Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn't. He can't stand that shit.

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