Nightcap 10/31/12

Certain people have a very low threshold. They can be driven mad by the slightest effort. Their world is a fragile Christmas ornament. Staring at their neck can shatter their holiday. So can including asterisks on words inside greeting cards with no companion footnote. Calmly and repeatedly asking them if they need anything microwaved will reduce them to tears. Asking them for spellings of extremely common words drives them into uncharted madness. Making a big show of using the handicap automatic door doesn't go over well with these sensitive flowers. They feel the state should let them use that door too.

Once they have snapped and are foaming and sputtering, you should ask them which unpackaged batteries are still good. Then tell them you're marrying their daughter.

Welcome to the family, Harold!

About Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn't. He can't stand that shit.

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