According to an official letter delivered today from city hall, sometime in the next 72 hours all citizens will be issued a parachute and a handshake and be on their own when next Thursday comes and the municipality throws up its hands, turns off the power and reverts back, legally, to unclaimed Indian land. We can all agree, I think, that we've done our best but these arrangements aren't working out. We can't stand each other and there's really no use in pretending any longer.

Once the town water tower is emptied, I plan on moving into it with a raccoon family. If any of you are interested, I'll be pushing over my ladder for the final time after my first evening in the tower. Sell it for scrap, I've had enough.

Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn't. He can't stand that shit.

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