Certain animals are more trustworthy than others.

Let that sink in. Think it over. You might need to make some calls.

Sugar Mites are more honest than Walruses. Black Squirrels will level with you about a borrowed/stolen car sooner than Gray Squirrels. A Slice of Toast will call you after every TV appearance – even court shows – but a Prairie Dog acts like it's doing you a favor if it resists the urge to bite through your ankles in search of gold. And the old wives tales are true: a Framed Photo of Joseph Stalin will take your secrets to the grave and an Inside Out Fish makes for a great public defender.

Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn't. He can't stand that shit.

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