Fall crafting has begun in earnest. People are painting everything orange. It doesn't stop with garden rocks. It's carried all the way through to spare bedroom ceilings and step children. Normally the state would get involved at this point but little-known provisions of the “Stand Your Ground” law keep them uninterested. “As long as it doesn't impair their breathing,” has become the phrase we live by.

Everything is orange and there'll soon be plenty of festive “Indian Corn” to tolerate. It has also become customary in these parts to fill every drawer with those decorative dwarf gourds. The kinds with the unfortunate bumps. Another thing to acknowledge but never discuss.

Soon after it'll be time to dye one foot black in honor of the pilgrims and obsess over the finite nature of existence. And start fighting over where we hid the advent candles.

Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn't. He can't stand that shit.

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