Video and film and art must be shiny. It must be a finely rounded piece of glass. With blood spatters and muzzle flash and plenty of flare. Lens flare glinting off just so as it gently swoops and pans – never really resting – like your entire world exists in a goddamn auto show. And make it real deep and dramatic and never have anyone look directly at you. Always askance. Because of the shame and burden they bear. And none of it better be in focus. None at all just the tiniest of slivers of shiny metal laser swords and real guns are ever sharp and only in narrowly-related muted colors that are tumblr-approved. But still shiny as though it's trapped forever in a blister of amber with a soft light just off to the upper left. Make it look like a cough drop and give it a cutesy name made of letters without sharp edges. File off the edges but still make it real and authentic and gritty and unflinchingly accurate portrayals of soulless monsters to be killed. Over and over and over. And have a beloved pet die while a genuine scotsman uses his real accent to hammer home the role courage and honor plays in the hearts of all those who dare call themselves men.


Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn't. He can't stand that shit.

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