Kneel in prayer:

Dearest Father Andy,

Now that you have returned to your Kingdom in the Stars, your power and wisdom released from earthly bondage, I have but one wish:

Please – bring me a pair of Vantex Socks. The only sock that keeps your leg veins warm in winter. Without their superior stitching, I will grow purple and become lost.

In anticipation of this gift I have strangled 14 water fowl and piled them near the leather chute.

I am willing to accept your judgement.

Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn't. He can't stand that shit.

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