When one finds himself chief stooge in the lunatic factory what does one do? Tip over a chair and rant about corruption in the birthday cake business? Resign the post and mail cards to mother?

No such a position requires bold action and severe moves. It requires commandeering a school bus and forcing the fat kids to stand and issue apologies for their grotesqueries until we reach home.

Whether you have the trust of a thousand buffalo men or the ear of just one fool, you must use that power to keep track of your receipts and not be afraid to ask for reimbursements for any and all company related purchases. You must improve the lot of your sad charges. You must direct your rat corner of society towards greater aims.

You must get them to stop biting each others’ arms and start biting directly into snakes, provided you can find them with your magic stick and these power pellets.

Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn't. He can't stand that shit.

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