With the demise of printed encyclopedias comes additional forms of lawlessness. The preponderance of ostriches and other exotic birds being kept as pets is new. Some are being welcomed into the home and included in family portraits. Car fires are left burning often for weeks at a time. Magazine racks are found in total disarray. Covers folded back, subscription cards cover the floor. Many of them are half filled in with obvious fake names and lurid addresses. Pencils sit unsharpened, a nuisance to themselves and others. The Pope has taken a bride.

With only the internet’s abundance of crude flash animations of beloved pop culture figures debasing themselves, we are a people adrift. Just having the encyclopedia’s extra index volume’s explanation of punctuation form and usage encourages reasonable bed times. Instead each day brings new word of brush fires engulfing our major cities and astronauts being called back into service to wrestle each other at county fairs.

We simply cannot get our bearings in this new paperless world. All one can do is hold ones breath around computers so as to not breathe in their secret, poison electric waves and hope Santa gets this letter.


Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn't. He can't stand that shit.

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