Nightcap 06/09/12

Thinking it through, it’s not entirely wrong to wish cancer on someone. Or their wife. And their children. Ultimately you only get so many wishes. You’ve got to make them count. Destroying your enemy and his lineage in a painful and untraceable way is a good use of one or two wishes that you probably would’ve wasted on becoming an expert hang glider or being able to read your pets’ minds.

You can always get a book for that.

Real satisfaction comes from using the magic powers of an arabian genie to make a face-enveloping, purple and pink, wart-covered tumor grow out of the forehead of Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker while he’s being fellated on CNBC.

That’s real reform.

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About Chris Weagel

Chris Weagel writes about the intersection of technology and parenting for Wired Magazine. No he doesn't. He can't stand that shit.

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